Churning day is highly overrated

I have a serious desire to milk a cow. With no room for a cow pasture in my yard (and the likelihood of serious backfire from my landlady), I’m at the disposal of the back wall of my local grocery store. However, with fresh inspiration from the Learn and Grow tent at the Glenwood Sunday Market in tow, I figured if I can’t milk a cow I can at least enjoy the old fashioned joys of making my own supplementary dairy products: butter, yogurt and cheese.

Operation: butter
Status: fail

Either Laura Ingalls was extremely patient AND buff, or I did something wrong. I was meticulous in my choice of half and half (pasteurized, not ultra pasteurized), waited until the cream reached 72 degrees, poured into a mason jar and shook. and shook. And got tired and put it in the kitchen aid mixer. Fifteen minutes later and a seriously hot motor on my mixer and although little butter chunklets did form I simply can’t imagine that 1-1/2 cups of cream only yields a teaspoon of butter. I am defeated. But not discouraged! I shall live to churn another day.

Published by


Lauren Warnecke is a freelance writer and critic based in Chicago, IL. She is the dance writer and critic for the Chicago Tribune, a culture critic at Chicago Magazine, and has credits with See Chicago Dance, the Windy City Times, Dance Magazine and Pointe, among others. Since 2009, Lauren has blogged about dance in the American midwest at She is also a group fitness instructor and part-time faculty member at Loyola University Chicago

One thought on “Churning day is highly overrated”

Questions? Concerns? General accolades and words of love? Tell me what you think here:

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s