Churning day is highly overrated

I have a serious desire to milk a cow. With no room for a cow pasture in my yard (and the likelihood of serious backfire from my landlady), I’m at the disposal of the back wall of my local grocery store. However, with fresh inspiration from the Learn and Grow tent at the Glenwood Sunday Market in tow, I figured if I can’t milk a cow I can at least enjoy the old fashioned joys of making my own supplementary dairy products: butter, yogurt and cheese.

Operation: butter
Status: fail

Either Laura Ingalls was extremely patient AND buff, or I did something wrong. I was meticulous in my choice of half and half (pasteurized, not ultra pasteurized), waited until the cream reached 72 degrees, poured into a mason jar and shook. and shook. And got tired and put it in the kitchen aid mixer. Fifteen minutes later and a seriously hot motor on my mixer and although little butter chunklets did form I simply can’t imagine that 1-1/2 cups of cream only yields a teaspoon of butter. I am defeated. But not discouraged! I shall live to churn another day.

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Lauren Warnecke is a freelance writer and editor, focused on dance and cultural criticism in Chicago and across the Midwest. Lauren is the dance critic for the Chicago Tribune, editor of See Chicago Dance, and founder/editor of Art Intercepts, with bylines in Chicago Magazine, Milwaukee Magazine, St. Louis Magazine and Dance Media publications, among others. Holding degrees in dance and kinesiology, Lauren is an instructor of dance and exercise science at Loyola University Chicago.

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