Ode to the Vending Machine

Dear vending machine,

I think it’s time that we called it quits. It’s not you; it’s me. We just aren’t meant for one another. I thought maybe we could just be friends, but really, I think it’s best if we make it a clean break. Please do not call or write. I’m not good for you, and clearly you are not good for me. I’d prefer it if you left the building entirely, but it seems as though we are going to have to learn to work together as professionals and not as partners. I hope that this doesn’t cause you as much pain as it causes me.

Kind regards,

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Lauren Warnecke is a freelance writer and editor, focused on dance and cultural criticism in Chicago and across the Midwest. Lauren is the dance critic for the Chicago Tribune, editor of See Chicago Dance, and founder/editor of Art Intercepts, with bylines in Chicago Magazine, Milwaukee Magazine, St. Louis Magazine and Dance Media publications, among others. Holding degrees in dance and kinesiology, Lauren is an instructor of dance and exercise science at Loyola University Chicago.

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